Saturday, May 9, 2009

Mother's Day Humor

None of this is original. Happy Mother's Day tomorrow to all the moms out there.

Top 10 Reasons You Know You Are A Young Mother
  1. You know all the words to the Thomas the Tank Engine, Bob the Builder, and Dora the Explorer theme songs.
  2. You cut up your spouse’s food in little pieces.
  3. Your favorite piece of jewelry says "Mommy" on it and only cost $10.
  4. You have thousands of photos of your kids, but not a single one of yourself.
  5. Your feet stick to the kitchen floor … and you don’t care.
  6. The closest you get to gourmet cooking is making rice krispie bars.
  7. You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
  8. You've mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching.
  9. You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it's the only one your child eats.
  10. You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job", but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything.

The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have children if she had it to do over again. "Yes," she replied. "But not the same ones."

For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.

One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.

The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"

Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"

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