Parenting

I have been thinking a lot about parenting lately. I have one chance with the boys.

A general observation:

• Bad parents can produce good kids.
• Good parents can produce not-so-good kids.

But they seem to be the exception and not the rule.

Another observation:

We receive so much training in life for stuff: our jobs, etc...But we receive very little training for our most important roles in life: being a spouse and being a parent. Most of us would do well to read books or take a class or seek some mentoring from others on such things.

Anyway, here is what I have been thinking about the past couple days. A few generations ago, our culture was relationship rich and experience poor. What I mean is that in previous generations there weren't a million opportunities to play lacrosse and dance and learn tae kwon do and play baseball 12 months a year. We just spent a lot of time together and focused on relationships. Today, we cart our kids around from soccer to cheerleading to piano lessons. Lots of experiences, but not a whole lot of relationships. Unless you count the time stuck in traffic.

The solution is not to take the kids out of all activities and start spending serious time with them. It is probably more along the lines of balance (See yesterday's post on balance for more details). Find a balance of experience and relationship. Experience is not bad. Too much experience is bad when it affects relationship.

Become involved in their experience. Let them be part of yours. Say "no" to things that aren't essential and create healthy environments where relationships can be nurtured.

Training update:

This morning's run was painful, especially the first mile. My hamstrings were like a tight rubber band. I got warmed-up after a while. I ran easy for an hour. About 8 miles. On the bright side, it was a beautiful morning. Lots of fog.