Summer Vacation: Losing Your Baggage

Vacation Bible School, 50 Days of Prayer, and Losing Your Baggage

Sunday's column...today.

It’s Sunday, July 21st. Today is a big day at The Water’s Edge! A really big day!

Anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf welcomes me. –Mark 9:37 

Tonight is the beginning of three days of fun, friends, family, and faith. It’s Vacation Bible School! At press time on Wednesday afternoon, we had over 160 kids registered. We expect lots more registrations. As long as the child is between the ages 4 and middle school – he or she is welcome. We can always use volunteers as too! You can register on Sunday morning at Millard West or on Sunday evening at Russell Middle School. Vacation Bible School runs from 6:15 to 8:30 Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday evenings.

Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart. –Colossians 4:2 

Today also marks the beginning of our 50 Days of Prayer campaign. We mailed the booklets in the middle of the week and will be passing them out in worship this morning and at Vacation Bible School tonight. And you will also have access to it wherever you are - online. 

We will have individual time with God. We’ll pray for our church. And we’ll pray for our city and world. Couples and friends and families will be encouraged to pray together. You will read a short Scripture and have a thought or two to ponder each day. I believe this is one of the most important things we will do as a church in 2013. I also believe these 50 days can be a real spiritual breakthrough for individuals and will help families begin praying together and talking about some of life’s most important and essential issues. 

I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. –Philippians 3:13

One of the things I’ve been praying a lot about is our worship experiences this morning. We continue our sermon series Summer Vacation. The message is Losing Your Baggage. As people we unnecessary hold on to life’s baggage and are burdened with our past. My prayer is that, this morning, we lose the baggage that is holding us back and get past our past. God wants us to trade our baggage in for something else. 

• Our failures and our fears will become faith, forgiveness, and freedom. 
• Our brokenness and our boredom will become belief, blessings, and bravery. 

Serving and loving kids, praying and depending on God, and putting our past in the past…I really do believe the best is yet to come… 

Craig

Quotes from Getting Past Your Past

When you make a mistake you get another chance. Today is always a new day and plenty of opportunities exist for better relationships, personal achievement, joy, contentment, and growing closer to God. Failure is not stumbling or even falling down. Failure is staying down and refusing to embrace the new day. "This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it." -Psalm 118:24

Revenge, anger, getting even -- they all seem like a good idea at the time. Until we realize the pain directed at the person who hurt us is like a boomerang: the animosity and hostility returns to us and smacks us on the head. Unless you like being bitter and resentful...try forgiveness. It's God gift to you.

What is true about you today doesn't have to be true about you tomorrow. "This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!" -2 Corinthians 5:17

Forgiveness: It's not as much for the offending party as it is for you. Maybe they will sleep a little better at night or be able to look in the mirror without quite as much guilt. Maybe they won't. You are spared carrying around burdens like resentment, anger, and bitterness. Forgiveness may not be fair, but it is good.

The past: We can’t change a darn thing about it. We can and should learn from it: the good, the bad, and ugly. And, somehow, we have to put it behind us. Doing things such as this sure beats the alternative. I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. –Philippians 3:13

Forgiveness doesn't change a darn thing about the past. It only changes the future. You get to choose your priority: yesterday or tomorrow. "Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." -Ephesians 4:32

Saying sorry does't necessarily mean you are totally wrong and the other person is totally right. Both parties most likely share at least part of the blame. Apologizing is a starting point to reconciliation and simply means you value your relationship with that person more than you value your ego.

Forgiveness isn't overlooking an offense from another party. Overlooking the deed is either enabling a self-destructive behavior or being a doormat - neither of which are wise alternatives. Forgiveness simply rises above offenses and hurts.

Most failures in life happen because people didn't realize how close success was when they quit. Success generally happens only a step or two beyond what once looked like our greatest failure. Don't give up or quit. Continue and finish strong. "Problems develop endurance. Endurance develops character. Character strengthens hope. And hope will not lead to disappointment." -Romans 3:3-5

Forgiving Others

Listen to this morning's message.

What forgiveness is not 

1. Forgiveness is NOT Forgetting 

It’s kind of like this: You have done something unspeakable to me. By all rights I should call it quits between us. My pride and my principles demand no less. I probably can’t forgot what has been done and will most likely carry scars for life, but I refuse to let the past stand between us and still want you as a friend. 

2. Forgiveness is NOT an Act of Weakness 

The weak have a tough time forgiving. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

3. Forgiveness is NOT Permission to Continue Self-Destructive Behavior 

That is called enabling. Quite a bit different than forgiveness. 

4. Forgiveness is NOT Conditional 

Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. That would be call for-earn-ness and not for-give-ness. 

5. Forgiveness is NOT necessarily a fully restored relationship 

Sometimes it’s best and sometimes it’s only possible to forgive from a distance. Sometimes forgiveness says I’m going to try to be your friend again and sometimes forgiveness has to say goodbye. 

6. Forgiveness is NOT usually a single event. 

Forgiveness is usually a process. It is usually not a switch. It is usually a journey. It takes time. The deeper the offense; the longer the journey. 

7. Forgiveness is NOT primarily for the other party. 

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and the prisoner is usually you. We can either forgive or relive. 

Types of hurt 

1. Unintentional – misunderstanding - busyness 

2. Intentional – betrayal 

What I pray is for us to learn, embrace, and practice the biblical model of forgiveness so that we can deal with others the way God deals with us. 

What is impossible by humans is possible with God. If there is unforgiveness exists in our lives – that God – through the power of the Holy Spirit will work in our lives to make the impossible happen and we can forgive those who have hurt us. 

Why forgive? 

1. Unforgiveness continues to hurt the person who was hurt. In other words…unforgiveness hurts us. 

Revenge, anger, getting even -- they all seem like a good idea at the time. Until we realize the pain directed at the person who hurt us is like a boomerang: the animosity and hostility returns to us and smacks us on the head. Unless you like being bitter and resentful...try forgiveness. It's God gift to you. 

Hebrews 12:15 (NIV) 

See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. 

Unforgiveness is a bitter root. 

We live with a bitter root. 

We may or even may not be aware of the presence of the bitter root. 

And the bitter root defiles. It causes trouble. It contaminates. 

Love keeps no record of wrongs. 

Bitterness keeps detailed records of wrongs. 

Unforgiveness is a cancer to the soul. 

It eats away at us. 

It hurts our relationship with others. 

It hurts our relationship with God. 

It prevents us from becoming the self that God wants us to become.

Unforgiveness is like squeezing broken glass. It hurts us. 

Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping it kills the other person. -Anne LaMott 

2. Because I’ll need forgiveness again. 

Matthew 6:14-15 

If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Matthew 18:32-35 

Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt. That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.

God’s grace and forgiveness is not conditional on our forgiveness of others. God is talking about something a little different. 

The pride that prevents us from forgiving others is a twin sibling to the pride keeps us from accepting God’s forgiveness. And may God help us do something about it. 

The forgiving becomes the forgiven 

The forgiving doesn’t let hurts from the past to destroy the future. 

How in the heck do I do this? I don’t know how. 

1. Pray for those who hurt you. 

Pray the way Jesus prayed when creation turned on the creator. As Jesus was dying on the cross – as people were hurting and humiliating him – he prayed: “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” 

Jesus taught clearly in Matthew 5:43-45 

You have heard the law that says, "Love your neighbor" and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven.

Some of you are thinking I don’t want to pray for this person. I don’t feel like it.

We all need to understand this: 

Right action leads to trigger right feelings. 

Right actions to come first. 

If you wait for the desire…you will be waiting for a long time. 

But, if we start praying, right feelings will follow right actions. 

My prayers for others may or may not change other people…but my prayers for others always, without exception, change me and my reaction to the other person. 

Start small 

Know it may be painful 

2. Then forgive as you have been forgiven. 

We forgive the same way God has forgiven us. 

Completely 

Constantly 

Colossians 3:13 

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 

Forgive as you have been forgiven.

Forgiveness

The young woman is starting her last year of college. She is going to make the most of it. She has her tickets for the home football games. Her and her friends have a spring break trip planned to Florida. She and her three roommates went out tonight. They had so much fun. Her first class is at 8:00 tomorrow morning. It’s 2:15 in the morning. She can’t sleep. 

On the other side of the city is a man. 2:15 in the morning is a time he is all too familiar with. He steps out on the front porch for some fresh air. The air is cool, but heavy. The only sounds are the locusts and a delivery truck making the rounds a few blocks away. His wife is sleeping. He walks back inside and looks at an old family picture. His heart turns heavier than the humid Nebraska air.

Heavy is the way the young woman would describe her heart. Her parents were divorced when she was very young. It worked okay. She had a good relationship with each parent and they even seemed to get along with each other. Then one day, her mom started dating a man. They eventually got married. The young woman acted happy for her mom, but it was an act. As an eleven year old, she sensed the man was trouble. And she was right. The man was verbally abusive to the mom and then to her. He moved out a week after her graduation. She wishes he had never moved in. He left a path of devastation: shattered dreams, emotional scars, and seven wasted years. The man lives in Louisiana now and has moved on, but it’s 2:15 and the girl isn’t sleeping. 

The man puts the picture down. A tear flows down his cheek. He sees his 20 year-old boy with a big smile on his face. The boy is 35 now. He has a couple kids of his own. The man hasn’t seen any of them for about five years. Well, he actually has watched a few soccer games from afar. He would give anything to give that granddaughter a hug after she scored that goal. He wouldn’t mind giving his son a hug either—just like the old days—but that isn’t going to happen. A fight over money took place and the two stubborn men haven’t spoken since.

Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. –Ephesians 4:32 

The young woman and the man live in the same city and a different world, but they desperately need the same thing: to forgive. Not for the sake of the offending party, but for their sake. Forgiveness, at its core, is an act of self-interest. Not forgiving allows the offending party to continue to hurt. Forgiving allows the heart to heal. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting or letting off the hook. Forgiving means to letting go of the past and its pesky travelling companions: anger, anxiety, and bitterness. Forgiveness is God’s idea for God’s children. And it’s a choice God gives us: we can remember and resent or we can forgive and live. 

The best is yet to come… 

Craig

Getting Past Your Past

The forty-something year old man sits at his desk. He stares at the spreadsheet on his computer. The numbers he is crunching don’t look much different than they looked yesterday. He and his wife get along. Some of the passion from early in the relationship seems to be missing, but it could be worse. The kids are great, but they are growing up so fast. Life is usually busy, sometimes stressful, and passes by like an hourglass stuck to a table. Meanwhile, he is staring at a spreadsheet on his computer.

The woman in her mid twenties is walking around the lake. Her iPod blasts country music. She politely smiles at the people riding their bikes, pushing their jogging strollers, and walking their dogs. Her smile is more a surface smile. Inside she isn’t all that happy. She works in marketing and loves her job. She enjoys hanging out with her friends. Those things aren’t the problem. She walks faster, turns the music up louder, and keeps cranking out those smiles. 

As the man stares at his computer, he goes back a decade or so to a time in his life when he was addicted to alcohol. With deep regret he remembers the days and nights he wasn’t home with his wife and kids. Even if he was home, he still has a lot to regret. He beats himself up over the night he was arrested for driving with too much liquor in his system. He wishes he could have found a more constructive way to deal with stress than a short-term reprieve of a few shots of whiskey and lots of beer. He is clean now and has been for some time, but the past has a tight stranglehold on him and the opponent’s grip is not getting any looser. He keeps staring at that spreadsheet. 

As the woman continues around the lake she looks at her index finger on her left hand. It is empty. A ring was on the finger for ten months—about five years ago. It was shiny and beautiful. It represented faith, hope, and love. She was engaged. Life was perfect. The wedding date was set. Then one day, he told her they needed to postpone the wedding. He had some excuse about this being a really busy year with his job. She believed him and supported him. A few months later he broke it off and broke her heart. To make things worse, a year later he married another woman. They say time heals all wounds. It’s been five years and she ain’t there yet. 

The man’s office and the woman’s lake are less than a mile apart. He is 45 and she is 25. Their lives are much different, but the issue they need to deal with is the same: getting past their past. They, and pretty much everybody else they know, need to heal from pain inflicted by others and by self. Things like forgiveness, getting over our failures, and not letting others define us are the first and most important steps to contentment, fulfillment, satisfaction and joy.

The past: we can’t change a darn thing about it. We can learn from it: the good, the bad, and ugly. And, somehow, we have to put it behind us. Doing things such as this sure beats the alternative. 

I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. –Philippians 3:13 

The best is yet to come… 

Craig