Are You a Control Freak?

Today we are going to look at our need for control. We can and should control certain areas of our lives: our attitude, our willingness to listen, and loving others because we want to love like Jesus loved. 

But, too much control can get in the way of a growing relationship with God and healthy relationships with others. Here is a quiz I created to see if you may have some control issues:

1. When watching television with other people, you suffer from great anxiety when you don’t possess the remote control. 

2. Your typical order at the coffee shop involves specific instructions such as dictating the water temperature and the ratio of cream to coffee. And when the barista asks you if you want the drink of the day, you laugh at them. 

3. When a friend sets you up on a blind date, you demand to know the name of the person you are going out with. You spend the next few hours googling them, stalking them on Facebook and Instagram, and have your friend at the bank run a credit check on them. 

4. You find yourself finishing other people’s sentences. 

5. Your hair stylist wants to surprise you with a new look and your initial reaction is to get up, walk away, and never come back.

6. You more than occasionally say something like: “If you want something done right you got to do it yourself.” 

7. It is painful for you to ride in a car with somebody else. You question the driver’s ability to navigate the fastest route and you get nervous they are going to rear-end the car in front of you. 

8. Your son won’t wear the outfit you have selected for him. You quickly make a decision to withhold his allowance for the next six years and take away his cell phone if he won’t wear the above-mentioned clothing ensemble. 

9. You love Caller ID and can’t imagine your life without it. 

If “yes” describes your response to six or more of the statements, you have some control issues. If “yes” describes your response to three to five of the statements, you may have some control issues. 

Our need for control affects our relationship with God and our relationships with others. When we can let go of our need for control we can also let go of much stress and anxiety that goes with control and we can open ourselves up to God’s leadership and God’s grace. 

If we try our absolute hardest to control our lives, we don’t let God control our lives. And think about this: you can’t authentically love somebody you are trying to control. The beginning of love is not to attempt to twist others into the image of who we want them to be, but to let those people be uniquely themselves and love them for that. 

I invite us to take our need for control to God’s altar and sacrifice it for something much greater: God’s guidance and grace in our lives. 

The best is yet to come…

Craig

Control Issues

Last Sunday morning I had a headache. When I get them, usually a couple Advil takes the pain away. Last Sunday morning was an exception. I was having some investigative work done on my colon the next morning and wasn’t allowed to take Advil. So I drove downtown to pray with our runners who were doing the 10K, half-marathon, and marathon. Trying to find a parking spot, the headache got worse. When I got home the computer we use to project words and images on the screen during worship didn’t boot up. The headache got worse. In about 15 years of doing this, I don’t ever recall preaching with a headache. Now I can say I have. 

I’ll skip the details between noon on Sunday and nine o’clock on Monday morning. The headache was still present. I hadn’t eaten for thirty-six hours. For the first time in my life I was getting an IV. The nurse pushed my bed into the surgical room. I was going to be put to sleep for the first time in my life.

I’m not a control freak. Quite the opposite. I am probably a little too hands off as a church leader and I may give my kids too much freedom. Hopefully I’m somewhere in the middle between micromanaging and chaos. 

But on Monday morning I was dealing with some control issues. The anesthesiologist was very professional. He was even funny. I told him it was my first time going under. He replied I was his first patient, so we would be a good team. The surgeon was competent and compassionate. He noted I was the youngest patient he had seen in a while. By this time I was becoming sedated: I think I told him I didn’t know if that said more about me or him. Either that or I told him I was being chased by a giant, talking coconut. I remember them talking about my low resting pulse and being a funny guy for a pastor. Or maybe that was a dream. 

The next thing I remember is waking up with the IV out wondering why they hadn’t started yet. The nurse explained I was done. I replied “What do you mean, done? Am I going to die?” She responded, “Eventually you will, but most likely not in the near future. We are finished. Everything went well.” 

A while later, I left to go home. A queasy stomach. An empty stomach. A chauffeur. Having as much or as little control as I want. As I was dreaming about onion rings and key lime pie, it hit me, I realized I’m not really in control of much of anything except the thing that matters most. I don’t control things like the driver on the other side of the road, the stock market, or my kids when they are at school. But I can influence my relationship with God. It’s not much, but just as well, because in the present and in the end, it’s what matters. I’m not going to be a casual fan. I’m going to strive to be a fully committed follower. 

The best is yet to come… 

Craig