Self-Portrait

1 Kings 19:9-18

9 There he came to a cave, where he spent the night. But the Lord said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

10 Elijah replied, “I have zealously served the Lord God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.”

11 “Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.

And a voice said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

14 He replied again, “I have zealously served the Lord God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.”

15 Then the Lord told him, “Go back the same way you came, and travel to the wilderness of Damascus. When you arrive there, anoint Hazael to be king of Aram. 16 Then anoint Jehu son of Nimshi to be king of Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from the town of Abel-meholah to replace you as my prophet. 17 Anyone who escapes from Hazael will be killed by Jehu, and those who escape Jehu will be killed by Elisha! 18 Yet I will preserve 7,000 others in Israel who have never bowed down to Baal or kissed him!”

Our journey to better relationships started yesterday with God. Today it continues with self. Every relationship you are in is imperfect because, in part, you are half of the relationship. We all bring our imperfections--selfishness, control, and communication quirks--into relationships. So does everybody else. Therefore, all relationships have some dysfunction. No exceptions exist to that rule.

Elijah was in one of those dysfunctional relationships. In fact, he was in a lot of them. People wanted to kill him. Elijah painted a self-portrait of his current relational status and he did something about it before it was too late.

After we look to God, the next place we should look is in the mirror. We paint a a self-portrait of our current relationships and look at our part in those relationships. What relationships, in our lives, do we need to do something about before they are killed?

Get a blank sheet of paper, a pencil, and paint your own self-portrait:

1. List the five most important relationships you have. (It could be family, friends, co-workers, etc...)
2. Note the health of these relationships. (Flourishing, pretty good, going through the motions, struggling, about to implode, etc...)
3. Dream about where you want this relationship to be in five years.
4. Think about your part in the dysfunction of the relationship. (You aren't spending enough energy in the relationship, you have to high of affinity for control, you talk too much and don't listen, etc...)
5. Change what you can change in the relationship. (Note: you can't change the other person!) This isn't easy because it involves changing ourselves.
6. Ask for God's grace and power to change, serve, be authentic, forgive, seek forgiveness, and move forward.